"Just insert tab A into slot B."Bailey's one of my oldest friends. Sometimes, though, after a few drinks he gets a tad cynical. Especially on the tenth day of the month, when the alimony check to his ex-wife comes due.Now me, I've managed to avoid marriage. At 40, I'm the neighborhood's confirmed bachelor, and the local eligible gals have long since given up on me. I hardly even go out on dates any more. Everyone suspects there's something wrong with me. Maybe there is.You see, I've found a substitute for women. For real-life women, that is. I dream.As a horny and frustrated adolescent I had begun fantasizing about what it might be like to make it with some of those unattainable cheerleaders, the cute ones with the high, musical voices and long hair down to the waist who were much too good for me. Fantasizing was better than nothing, and soon it was much better than nothing. What had begun as ordinary kiddy daydreams turned into a powerful obsession. The girls, then women in my. I trust that the two of you will not have sexual intercourse while we are gone, because you are brother and sister and that is wrong, but we would never suspect it. In any case, see you in a few days.” Their parents left as Johnny and Mary said goodbye. Suddenly, they had the house to themselves. Mary went up to her room, and Johnny waited a bit before going upstairs and knocking on her door. “Come in,” Mary said as Johnny walked in and closed the door behind him as she was combing her hair. “Hello, sis. Do you mind if I exclusively refer to you as ‘sis’ or ‘sister,’ despite the fact that no one really calls their sister that in real life?” “Of course I do not mind, brother. Now tell me, what is it that you want?” “Well, sister,” Johnny said, “since today is my 18 th birthday, I have suddenly discovered that I find you sexually attractive and would like to have intercourse with you.” “Brother, that is a terrible thing to say,” she replied. “We are blood relatives and should not be.
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